Queer Non-Monogamous Kinky Widows Grief Circle
This is a monthly grief circle for widows who are queer, non-monogamous, and kinky to grieve the death of your partner(s) and the shifts in relational dynamics with the relational constellations of your erotic and romantic connections, as well as, the shift in the way you show up to your sexual self.
Polyamourous/non-monogamous experience doesn’t always fit within traditional bereavement spaces.
The additional layers of queerness, transness, kink dynamics, etc all add to the sense of isolation when attempting to access peer spaces for widows. Maybe that word is not even quite right for you, terminology is often deep in the het-norm of it all, and this space is created from a sense of needing to have something that is as queered and expansive as the relationships that we live and die in.
This grief circle centers the grief of partner death loss, whatever partner means to you. D/S dynamics, comets, spouses, fuck buddies, play partners, situations where your relationship was unknown to their family/community, sex work clients/providers, etc.
If you are queer, non-monogamous, and kinky, grieving the death of a partner, this space is for you.
LGBTQIA2+ Space
18+
No prior grief circle experience is required.
Drop in sessions. Come when you can, as you can.
Participation is by choice. You will never be required to share.
No sharing advice unless explicitly asked for.
No homework/worksheets, but grief tending suggestions and resources will be sent to the group after.
Other Important Details:
Second Monday of the Month
5pm - 6:30pm PST
Zoom Room with Captions
Recommended Sliding Scale $10 - $50 per session
No One Turned Away for Lack of Funds. If you need to access this space for free, please email jess@belovedcoaching.net to receive the Zoom link at least 30 minutes before we gather.
— A special note about the particular nature of this grief. — Some of us may recognize or know each other from outside of or before this group. Some of us may be grieving the loss of the same partner. In order to navigate this as best we can, we ask folks to agree to the following.
We try to leave stories about others at the digital door.
We aspire to meet each other with fresh eyes, compassion and gentleness. We have all been through challenging circumstances, and we don't know anyone else's stories beyond what they share with us.
We acknowledge that everyone is changing over time.
We know that we have all probably said or done something that caused harm, whether we know about it or not.
We recognize a need for process, time and space in healing relational dynamics and accountability that may extend beyond the bounds of this space and agree to be responsible, as individuals, for fostering this work in the best ways we can.
We understand that some dynamics may not be well enough to share this sort of vulnerable space. If you have metamours, exes, etc who you would not feel able to share space with, but who may also be attempting to attend, you can check in with us as we are willing to do a small amount of schedule labour to help folks who can't share space attend on alternating months.
You are your own boss in how you participate in this group, let your nervous system and body needs inform how you show up. This means camera on/off, text in the chat, leave if you need, snack as you will.
While this isn't a strictly sober space, it is also not a happy hour, and some members of the group would prefer to not be subject to witnessing others' substance use. If you are drinking, please drink from a generic vessel (rather than a can or bottle). If you are smoking or vaping during the group, we ask that you just turn your camera off. If you are obviously impaired or intoxicated, you will be muted or asked to leave.
Facilitated by Jess DeVries & Kori Doty (of Soft Touch Bodies)
Kori and Jess are non-monogamously partnered and were together through the palliative care, death, and bereavement of Kori's partner Coco.